Adventurer WHO?
by Shieldage
Summary: Xander leaves Ethan's Halloween Shop with a disabled sonic screwdriver and an old picture of the Doctor. When a TARDIS is activated, who shows up to claim it?
1. Shopping Trip

BtVS by Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Doctor Who optioned by the BBC. Stargate by Gekko Productions and others.

I had this moderately AU backstory floating around my head for awhile. I want to thank mikerich and his Challenge at _Twisting the Hellmouth_, listed below, for a very detailed framework to hang it in :)

* * *

Xander was walking through the bins of the costume shop keeping an ear on Buffy and Willow's conversation when he was distracted by a woman with a particularly tight top. Not looking where he was going, he bumped into a man who was bent over, putting a box on a low shelf. Something in the box hit something else with an interesting clink, so, dismissing the man with a muttered apology, Xander sat down to investigate.

Among other things, the box held a locket and a silvery thing with a bluish tip that resembled part of a drill or an unfinished screwdriver. Xander brushed aside a rubber chicken and a leatherbound book with arm-straps to reach the items he was interested in and stood up.

"Ahem," the man said. "Those are items I just purchased at a yard sale. I'm sorry that they don't have price tags yet, but I was hoping to beat the rush. That thing opens - you know..."

Xander gave the man a half-smile and snapped open the locket to reveal a brown-haired man with an oddly colored coat and a long scarf. The man in the picture had just stepped out of a black car to climb some stone steps, the screwdriver-thing visible in his hand. Xander was struck by the composition of the picture, so he turned to the man standing in front of him who he figured to be the store's owner - or at least an employee - and began to negotiate a price for the stuff.

They had just finished closing the deal when Buffy walked by with an armload of dress.

"Seems like you know her," the store owner said, nodding after the blond-haired girl. "My name is Ethan, by the way."

"Xander here," he said, thumping his chest. "Yeah, she's buying that in order to impress this... old guy she hangs out with."

"Old, you say?"

"_Much _older. Sure, the guy has looks, but his personality's much too stiff and-"

"Thank you," Ethan said, taking the young man's money and walking away without so much as a second glance.

_Yes_, Ethan thought._ She's the one I saw with Rupert on my last 'shopping trip'. She must be buying that dress to impress him with demure femininity... Well, far be it from me to pass up an opportunity to screw with Ripper's head._

"I'm sorry, miss," he said from just a step behind Buffy, causing her to whirl around and glare. "But I'd hate to see someone with such a good figure and fine muscle tone covered up in so much lace. I mean, that garment will do nothing but obstruct your movements."

"Sold," Buffy said, thrusting the dress into his arms. "You had me with the British accent. Lead on to the stuff I can fight in."

A short trip around the store gained them the makings of a decent Xena fighting suit. Ethan smiled sweetly as he rung her up. "I'd really love to see the look on Ripper's face when he sees her in this," he muttered to himself just a bit too loudly.

"Ripper," Buffy asked with a rather cute frown on her face. "You know Angel?"

"Angel?" Ethan asked, shaking his head in puzzlement. "I'm sorry, you look like the young woman going out with the bloke I'm thinking of. I must have you confused with someone else."

"Huh," muttered Buffy as she left the store.

"Hmph," snorted Ethan as he returned to his work. He was vaguely disgruntled for the rest of the evening.

* * *

_Prompted by mikerich's 'Xander Who' Challenge: "Xander sees a sonic screwdriver prop in Ethan's bargain bin for two dollars so, with a smirk, he buys it from Ethan and - _


	2. Costume Change

BtVS by Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Doctor Who optioned by the BBC. Stargate by Gekko Productions and others. The several shows/games also used as reference aren't mine.

Reviewer _Bill_ wondered if I'd be bringing in Leela, the leather-clad fighter skilled with ranged weaponry from Doctor Who as Buffy's costume... Cool idea and sorry, but I don't want another DW-costume brought in, for plot reasons. How about a guest appearance by her Futurama namesake? :)

Thanks

* * *

Not wanting to cut things too close on his costume, it was the day before Halloween after all, Xander headed to the school library in hopes of running into everybody's favorite Watcher.

Sure enough, he was there long past normal school hours, resting his hand on his girlfriend's arm whenever he wasn't turning a page in one of the books laid out in front of them.

"Ahem," Xander coughed, causing the two adults to snap to embarrassed attention. "Hey, Giles, I was hoping to borrow that scarf you keep in your desk in case of an ice demon. Wait, what is that?" he asked, walking over to the coat rack and the oddly colored piece of clothing that had caught his eye. "Could I borrow this jacket as part of my Halloween costume? Just for one night."

"That's actually my jacket," Jenny corrected. "Sure, why not. It's not really cold enough for me to need it."

"The scarf's available as well," Giles said, his lack of interest in Xander's costume evident.

Xander threw on the coat, noticing it was a bit snug but, considering Jenny Calendar was five inches shorter than him, it probably appeared baggy on her.

He retrieved the scarf without incident and left the library with muttered words of thanks. Once outside, he snapped open the locket and decided that the pattern of the scarf matched up pretty well with the one in the picture.

_Yep, _Xander thought._ Other than my hair - which I'm _not_ touching, I'll be a dead ringer for the guy - whoever he is... My guess is that he's a super sci-fi spy, or at least some kind of hero._

##

The rest of the night and most of Halloween passed fairly quietly. Soon enough, Xander was in his costume leading a bunch of grade school kids on a tour of the best candy-gathering locations in Sunnydale.

Suddenly, a burst of magic spread through town, turning many people into their costumes, while leaving others untouched, seemingly without rhyme or reason. Xander was one of the former group, so his consciousness disappeared from existence, replaced by one that felt much older. Two hearts beat in the new being's chest as he straightened to his feet.

The alien reached inside his jacket and pulled out his sonic screwdriver hoping to determine when and where he was, only to freeze in surprise when he realized that the item that had saved his life so many times had become disabled.

"Great," he muttered to himself as he began to fiddle with restoring functionality to the device, not noticing the Bigfoot approaching from behind him or the several child-size demons about to pounce.

A brown package arced through the air above them.

"Hyeah!" came a great battle-cry as a heavy grey boot smashed into Bigfoot's face, knocking the anthropoid completely off-balance. It only managed to take a few steps before falling down, hard.

The purple-haired owner of the boot caught the thrown package before it hit the ground and a few blaster shots, set to stun, was all it took to chase the possessed children away. "Hi," she said, turning to the alien that had been Xander Harris. "Something tells me you shouldn't be wondering around out here alone."

He stepped forward as if to shake her hand only to push her out of the way and shove the repaired screwdriver into the face of the recovered Bigfoot looming behind her. The creature screamed as if its eardrums had just burst and ran away.

"So, how did you do that?" she asked, peering over his shoulder.

"It's okay," he answered. "I'm an Adventurer."

"That's not a job title," she scoffed. Her bone structure definitely resembled that of one Cordelia Chase, but neither of them was in a position to notice.

"Sure it is," the Adventurer said turning around to pull out his wallet. "Here you go," he said, showing her a card which read:

My name is

**Xander Harris**

Graduate of the Famous Adventurer's Correspondence School

"Hero of Spielburg"

"Prince of Shapeir"

"I see," she said, blinking her single eye. "Well, Mr. Harris, you're cute, but you seem to be able to take care of yourself, so I'm just going to complete this delivery and get the heck out of here."

"Thanks," he said, taking the time to notice that her package had a Planet Express logo and was marked with the address of 'Ethan's Costume Shoppe'. "Good luck and godspeed."

She smiled, leaned forward to pat his shoulder and then left him, heading down the street.

A broad smile broke across his face. Sex wasn't something he exactly wanted this lifetime, but being liked by attractive women made him feel giddy.

He checked the card one more time before he returning the wallet to his pocket. "Harris, eh? Well, I guess it does sound better than Smith..."

Whistling happily to himself, the Adventurer walked through the chaos-filled town towards the place that the sonic screwdriver and his own enhanced senses told him he'd find a TARDIS, his own way home.

##

Willow wasn't dealing too well with being a shadow of her former self, an intangible one at that, but she felt a burst of joy when she saw her friend fighting in the distance.

"Buffy," she cried running closer, only to watch the costumed Slayer bounce a chakram off a demon's helmeted head, leaving the poor bastard unconscious. "Wait... Xena!"

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone else," the Slayer said, turning to face the ghost. The spell on her costume came with all the skills she needed to function; while it only created memories on demand, it was working fast enough for her not to notice. "My name is Joanna, Warrior Priestess."

"Okay," said Willow, nonplussed. "Just great. So, you're religious? Why don't you fill me in on the latest gossip about the Greek gods while we save the world this time..."

##

"So, we're in the future?" Joanna asked as they walked towards the library, Willow having briefed her on the basics. "It's bright and sort of... flat."

"Yep and let me tell you, cars are a minimal threat, just don't get in their way and you'll be fine."

"So, Willow," Joanna asked, tasting the name. "How'd you die?"

Willow froze in place for a few seconds, before answering. "How could you tell?"

"We passed underneath a bright... metal... lamp pole and a few insects flew through you."

"Ah," Willow said, relaxing visibly. "It's just this Halloween spell. If we break it, I should be back in my body again... Maybe."

"So, you're not here physically? Nothing can touch you?"

"Guess so."

"Good," Joanna said and threw her chakram directly through Willow. The metal disk passed above a large troll that had been approaching menacingly, cleanly slicing through its towering purple mohawk, before ricocheting off a fire hydrant and returning to Joanna's hand. The troll whimpered and ran away.

So did the fire hydrant.

##

"Out of curiosity, where's your body?" Joanna asked as they resumed their walk. "You implied it's somewhere."

"It's in front of someone's house a bit that way," Willow answered, waving vaguely.

Joanna froze in her tracks. "You mean you left yourself undefended?"

"Ouch," Willow said, frowning. "You're right, let's go. I don't think I could die again right now, but a building could catch fire or someone could sniff me out and try a bite... I could walk around for the rest of my life with a large chunk of arm missing... I'd never be able to wear a bathing suit to the beach!"

"Don't panic, we'll get there quickly. Don't be hard on yourself either. You found someone to help and then put saving others ahead of yourself."

"Putting it that way, shouldn't we head to Giles first?"

"No, I like it when my sidekicks can hold weapons."

"Sidekick? Wait, what?"

"Assuming whoever started you on this soul-walk isn't looking and given the right herbs and luck, there's hope of waking you up."

* * *

_Prompted by mikerich's 'Xander Who' Challenge: - gets a scarf from Giles and a multicolored coat from somewhere. During the spell the sonic screwdriver works and the 'Doctor' detects a TARDIS in one of Sunnydale's cemeteries - _


	3. Package Delivery

BtVS by Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Doctor Who optioned by the BBC. Stargate by Gekko Productions and others. Futurama by Matt Groening. The several shows/games also used as reference aren't mine. There's a fable/fairy tale bit below inspired by Roald Dahl's 'Revolting Rhymes'.

* * *

Ethan Rayne was meditating, letting his soul ebb and flow amidst the chaos, when his pleasant reverie was broken by a loud knock at the shop's front door and a voice yelling about a 'package delivery'.

Sighing, Ethan lowered both of his feet to the floor and went to answer the call.

_Who is it?_ he thought._ Even Ripper in his full prime wouldn't have found me yet without advance notice. Oh, could it be? Yes, it's that delightful Miss Chase. I knew that sending out flyers advertising expensive personally tailored costumes not available to the 'rabble' visiting my main location would be the best way to attract attention from Sunnydale's upper crust and this lovely young woman was one of the more extreme examples of the type..._

"Cream," he said as he opened the door with a flourish. "As they say my dear, is not the only thing that rises to the top."

"What are you going on about?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I say that out loud? Hmm, where do I sign? Thanks," he said, accepting the box and promptly opening it.

Inside was something he couldn't describe, even to himself.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Something for the man who has everything," she said, apparently quoting from memory. "A box containing a universe."

"Which one?" he asked as he stuck his hand inside the box - only to be met with the disturbing sight of his own arm reaching back out towards him.

"Apparently this one," the transformed Cordelia said with a toss of her purple hair. "Now if you don't mind me leaving, I'm also a pilot and my ship back to headquarters isn't going to fly itself."

She turned on her heel and left, the shop's bell ringing as the door closed in her wake.

Frowning, Ethan closed the lid of the box and, despite his better judgement, gave it a small shake.

The resulting tremor sent several of his favorite shot-glasses crashing to the floor.

"Well," he muttered, darkly. "That's the last time I'll be stupid enough to reuse a box with my address on it and forget it at someone else's house... Could have been worse I guess, I could have left the box at that one mansion with the weird clingy guy. Funny, I would swear he was a vampire if he didn't so clearly have a soul."

##

"You're still warm," Joanna said, as she held Willow's vacant body by the shoulders. "That's a good sign."

"Nice to hear," Willow stated. "Let's head up to that house over there, the empty-looking one with the door open and the lights on."

"Going to have me secure you in there while I find the herbs?"

"Actually, I thought it'd be much simpler if they came to us. You see, there's this long-range communication device called a telephone. All you have to do is press the buttons I tell you to and hold the phone at a weird angle so I can talk to it. I mean, so I can talk to the guy at the library who we want to help us. He has a car and he can be here in no time flat. No disrespect intended, but I think having you drag me all the way there will leave me awfully sore in the morning."

"If you keep on like that," Joanna grunted as she moved the limp form towards the house. "Saying the first thing that comes to your mind regardless of the situation, how do you ever expect to graduate from being a sidekick?"

"Listen, sister, you may come from the heydey of the plays upon the mount," Willow bit back. "But I've seen a lot more TV than you. Heroes and sidekicks aren't determined by their deeds anymore, it's a matter of popularity. If I outshine you enough times I just might get my own spin-off... Or at least I'd headline a comic book."

"That's it!" Joanna growled, heaving the body onto a couch. "You're defenseless and the house is empty. Surely somewhere in this mess - I'll never understand this future's obsession with cupboards - there's some cosmetics I can use to put a nice wide smile on your face."

"What!"

They bickered in that vein before, after, and straight through the phone call to Giles, keeping at it right up until the point where he pulled into the driveway.

##

In the town's warehouse district, Spike was giving one of the locally sired vampires extra hazard pay in exchange for recording some of the more interesting events going around town.

He'd been warned by Dru ahead of time that Halloween night might bring his final death if he sought out the Slayer, so he was doing his best to enjoy the evening while being locked indoors.

The best footage he'd seen so far that night was of his grandsire - trapped somehow in a Cowardly Lion costume - escorting a short black-haired girl across town on a quest to find her stolen ruby slippers.

Spike and Dru had laughed so much tears came to their eyes.

As the heavy door closed behind the most recent camera-wielding vampire to visit them, Spike decided that he'd had enough of being cooped up, so he eased open the door and snuck a peek outside himself.

After seeing a Little Red Riding Hood skin the Big Bad Wolf with a dull machete, Spike closed the door quietly, climbed in bed next to Dru and pulled the covers up over his head.

##

Giles parked his car in front of Party Town and leaned back to face the young woman ministering to the limp form in the backseat. "Any luck at reviving her yet, er, Joanna?" he asked cautiously.

"No, I'm still here," chirped Ghost-Willow.

"I'm so close, but I'm missing a spell component. Not on my side," Joanna reaffirmed, sweat beading down her forehead. "Thanks again for finding everything I asked for... No, I can't identify a key concept used in the weaving of this spell."

"I'm only too glad to help out, we're just lucky Jenny had stored most of the ingredients inside her on-campus fridge. As we're here, you ladies stay in the car," Giles said as he undid his seat-belt and opened the door. "Wait. Willow can come with me as my lookout."

"Out of curiosity," Willow asked, realizing that they hadn't discussed the night's plan. "Why are we here?"

"Simple logic my dear, if you're going to work a sustained spell of this size, where better to do it from a seasonal store in a town where few people ask questions?"

"But we didn't buy our costumes here, Giles, it was from some British guy named Ethan."

At her words, Giles slammed the door, swore a blue streak and tore out of the parking lot. A few seconds later he slammed on his brakes in the middle of the road and let the ghost of his ward catch up to the car.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I had no idea that startling you would cause you to phase right of the_ damn_ car."

"S'alright," Willow squeaked as she slid into a seat and mimed buckling herself in.

"Joanna," Giles said, sighing as he did so. "I imagine that the missing ingredient... motivation... whatever in the spell is love of chaos, or along those lines."

"Got it," Joanna exclaimed as the herb paste flashed green and Willow sat up.

"Whoo," she said, clutching her re-embodied head. "What a rush."

##

After a bit of discussion, Joanna remained in the backseat while Willow climbed into the passengers' seat as navigator. Giles lifted his foot off the brake only to slam down on it again, a few seconds later, when something burst out onto the road in front of them.

Caught suddenly in the headlights, the rooster-headed _thing_ turned, hissed at the occupants of the car, then vanished into the darkness lining the sides of the road.

"What was that?" Joanna complained. "I couldn't see."

"First things first my dear," Giles said through clenched teeth. "You must do exactly as I say."

After considering the car as both a weapon and a horse, Joanna carefully listened to the instructions given and followed through with the unfamiliar movements, successfully putting the car into park.

"In answer to your question," Giles explained. "That was undoubtedly a possessed child in a costume who knew enough myth and heraldry to dress as a cockatrice. I've dealt with such paralysis before, enough to build up a token amount of resistance. While I can't move my arms or legs and... apparently unable to even shift my position, I, unlike poor Willow here, am capable of coherent speech... Which means that you are somehow going to have to drive us across town despite having no experience whatsoever with modern automotive technology. That and the fact we _bloody_ well have no idea where we're headed."

Sighing, Joanna got out and maneuvered the stiffened Giles to the back-seat.

"Willow, can you hear me," she asked, turning to the red-head. "If I tried I could speed up the process at which you heal, but even then it would still take too much time... If you're okay, move your eyes to the right. Really? Good."

"She can move her eyes? Good job, Willow!" Giles exclaimed. "That's impressive for anybody's first time exposure to a paralyzing gaze. Now, Joanna if you would be so kind as to move her back here with me, she can navigate and I can translate for her. Now listen, very closely..."

After a few false starts and stops, Joanna eased the car forward and began navigating the darkened streets of Sunnydale. She kept at a slow pace, always cautious of the beast-like thing beneath her.

"Holy Hell," Giles announced, half-way through the ride. "She drives better than _Buffy_!"

##

Without major incident and - strangely enough - completely oblivious to the fact that a camera-wielding vampire was capturing him on tape, the Adventurer reached one of Sunnydale's more generic graveyards and strode in through the gate.

On reaching his destination, a short white marble pillar poking out of the ground, the Adventurer frowned, checked his screwdriver, then began feeling around for a hidden panel.

Sure enough there was one, concealing a bank of wires. Grinning mischievously, he jammed his sonic screwdriver right into the midst of them.

The sound of weathered gears immediately began to groan as the earth rippled beneath his feet.

He stepped out of the way just as the top of the TARDIS, in its current form as a blue British police box, broke through the surface of the ground - the same complex funeral machinery that had lowered it to the bottom of the hole now raising it from its resting place.

"I have no idea what they were thinking when they buried this," the Adventurer said, examining the unearthed machine. "For that matter, I truly have no idea what they thought they were burying. Anyway, all that's left for me to do right now, is open the door," he said, narrating as he moved. "And disappear inside."

* * *

_Prompted by mikerich's 'Xander Who' Challenge: - that needs some minor repairs to be functional._


	4. Fine Art

BtVS by Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Doctor Who optioned by the BBC. Stargate by Gekko Productions and others. Futurama by Matt Groening. Early Edition by Ian Abrams. The several shows/games also used as reference aren't mine.

* * *

**Stargate Command, Cheyenne Mountain, Earth**

"We're getting reports from air traffic controllers about some ship with a nonsense I.D. code requesting a flight plan."

"And you think it's alien in origin? They're usually a lot more subtle than that."

"Considering the pilot claims to be from the 31st century? Wait, I'll patch you in."

_"... And you expect me to just hover here while you cut through the red tape? No. No, I don't think so. I'm going home and you can just go ahead and fine me afterwards. Over and out."_

"Radar indicates a fairly large object moving at a controlled rate of speed. It's making no attempt to cloak itself."

"That's new, too. Can you get me a visual?"

"Sure. Right here."

"Well, that's definitely not one of ours. I don't think I've ever seen any vessel in that particular blue before, either."

"I'd say it's green."

"I don't care if it's aquamarine. People, we are not bursting into to song here. Ahem. Contact any resources we have on the ground and tell SG-1 that... Wait, where did it say it was heading?"

"New York, sir. Except she called it New New York."

"Figures. Tell our people that we're either about to make first contact with our descendants or some alien drama queen out for a joyride in her daddy's car."

* * *

**Sunnydale, CA**

The Adventurer entered the TARDIS he half-way remembered as being his, with the distinct sense that something wasn't right.

For one thing, it seemed, if anything, to be slightly smaller on the inside than the outside.

"This isn't what's supposed to be here. I can't remember the colors, or the smells, or having a really good meal while driving this, but I know I have the skills to do so. What am I missing? Also, now that I think about it, am I drawing a blank because my memories have been erased or because they've been wadded up into a little ball? Think."

He sat down inside the cramped confines of the box and stared off into space.

"I have a sonic screwdriver. I have the skills to lock and unlock the TARDIS. It was unlocked. Why? Would I leave it alone for a year or two without setting safeguards in place? Yes. I would if only I could use it. Maybe I do have the key."

He lifted up his sonic screwdriver and jammed it into the floorboards using the skills he knew he had to identify the problem, which was that the TARDIS' true interior had somehow been shifted out of reality.

Smiling, he began fixing it back into place.

The small space suddenly filled with a pale and blinding blue light.

* * *

**Chicago, IL**

Beep. Beep.

Captain Jack Harkness, late of time patrol, late of Torchwood, late of the entire universe he'd explored from literally beginning to end, sat up in bed and fumbled for the alarm clock.

When he realized exactly _what _was beeping, he leaned too far into his arm and tumbled off the bed with a loud crash. This woke his flatmate up, who quickly came in from his side of the loft to investigate.

"Hey, Jack, when I said you could move in here I was expecting you to be more quiet at nights. Hey. Are you okay? You didn't, uh, you didn't die in your sleep or something?"

"No, I'm good." In the course of saving Life as he knew it, Jack had been made immortal, mainly in the sense that death and age sort of wore off after awhile. "Just a bit shaken up. You know that coral my friend gave me? What I've made out of it?"

"You mean the guy you followed - No. Well, I mean good. I guess you and he will be heading back to your own world, then?"

"Eh. This side of the Rift isn't... It touches more places than just my version of Cardiff and there's a seal to consider. No, more than anything I want to find him and tell him he's not alone. Here, or..."

"So, you still have no idea what he looks like?"

"Nope." Jack frowned as he crossed the room and sank into the couch. "No-one could have survived that much force. Last I saw was his time machine leaving our universe and it's not like you can see through the windows."

"You know, you've never really explained to me why he transforms every time he dies and you manage to stay exactly the same no matter what."

"Hey, he may be long-lived, but he's mortal. He can only regenerate a finite amount of times and that's the end of him. Same with his family, the ones he lost before I met him are gone completely... Me, I'm unique."

"If you say so. Thanks for the last couple of months. I guess, yeah, it's been almost a year since I started getting the paper and, well, if you hadn't shown up things might have gone a bit worse."

"I'm sure you'd have done well enough and, hey, it's not like I'm the only friend you've got. Besides, it's not like it's been all fun and games, we have different styles and-"

"Good point. If I didn't know better I'd say that you died a few extra times just so you could impress me."

"Whatever works. Ahem, I can't say when I'll be back, or how long I'll stay - it's a big brand new universe out there to explore. Then again, if the time machine works I could be on the roof right now listening in."

They both paused a second to stare at the ceiling.

"Right," Gary said, shaking himself. "Like that's not the least bit creepy. Well, do you need a lift? It's only three hundred miles."

"Much as I'd like it that easy, Gary, it's not. From these readings here, the energy spike's coming from the West Coast."

"What? Jack, they found you in Ohio. That's the entire reason you've been hanging out here rather than my version of the U.K., right?"

"Well, barriers have weak and pliable patches. For all I know I popped out the wrong one and the Doctor never was in Cleveland in the first place."

"Great... And Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Like I've said before, that's _my_ couch... Please put some clothes on."

* * *

**Sunnydale, CA**

The Adventurer smiled as the formerly shadowed box around him was redefined with dimension and color. Light came forth from numerous spaces along the spacious interior as well as from the weakly pulsing central column around which controls were arranged.

"Ooh!" he announced, taking off his scarf and his coat and hanging them on a nearby hook. "This place is huge. There are rooms off the side of this. Funny. I know how the effect's made, but I can't place why. I know the place was grown for me and how to help it make a new one, but who took care of it? Was it me? My parents? I hope they're nice.

"Wowzer! These aren't just rooms, they're hallways! I wonder if there's an attic? Oh, wait," he said, returning to the main control room to fish the sonic screwdriver out of the coat and secure it in his pants' pocket. "Can't forget this. I know I can use it as a torch if the lights go out. Wait. 'Torch'. 'Flashlight'. I'm British! No, wait...

"Good machine," he said to the TARDIS as a whole. "I'm going to explore you from end to end, or at least until I get bored. Then I'm going to help restore you to full power, because this just doesn't look right," he said, rubbing the central column. "And I'll take you for a spin. I think that for my maiden voyage, we'll go wherever you want to go, alright? We should come back here afterwards though, because if I lost my memories here, here's likely where I'll find them again. Whoever I am...

"Hey," he said, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Maybe I have kids."

##

Joanna eased open the front door of Ethan's Costume Shoppe, freezing when a bell jangled above her head.

_Oh well, _she thought._ So much for stealth._

"My dear, it's good to see you. I trust that Rupert's wearing his goody-two-shoes face and has told you nothing about me, right?"

"Not much other than not to-" Joanna said as she suddenly whipped out her chakram and threw it at angle to slightly reduce its momentum, hoping to leave the mage unconscious rather than dead.

The shining metal disk sped through the air, ricocheting off the ceiling before hitting Ethan Rayne in the back of the head. The mage merely smiled as the disk fell limply to the floor as a vaguely frisbee-shaped piece of rubber.

"... Let you say a single word," Joanna finished rather lamely as she backed up a step.

"Sorry, my dear," he said with a wave of his hand.

Joanna's custom-made form-fitting breeches became cheap knock-offs as her long black hair shifted into a wig and slid to the floor, revealing Buffy's shades of blonde.

"You're under the influence of a spell I made earlier and I can_ nudge_ it in spots as I wish. You see," he continued, chortling. "You're not Xena, or anything like her. You probably don't even think of yourself as _having_ a name unless somebody's already asked. You're a collection of skills and a tiny lying voice in the back of your head telling you have memories when it's really just making things up on the spot.

"I suppose I could have gone for the heavy-duty spell, the one that would draw a true personality and memories out of the ether of potential and explicitly shape your body to match it, but that one's tricky and a lot harder to sustain, let alone render permanent. No, you have the same face as you did before the spell, the same height. You're just a teenage girl in a dark, scary town and you are powerless to do anything about it.

"The hints of memories that shape your thoughts are ridiculous anyway," he said, turning to walk away. "I've seen the show and it's portrayal of the Greek Gods is completely wrong. Trust me, _you'll_ find no friends among them here."

"Beyond all that you've said, I still have my faith," she said in a steel-cored voice that made him freeze in his tracks. "Funny, I have the feeling that there's something obvious I'm missing," Joanna the Warrior Priestess said as she rubbed the cross that Buffy always wore around her neck. "But I just don't understand why you people keep assuming I'm_ Greek._"

He had time to spin half-way around before the first running kick landed, sending him sliding through the crowded racks of costumes. He came to a stop against the far wall near some discarded supplies.

"Oh. Still showing a bit of cheek," he said, pulling himself to a sitting position. "I _like_ that."

##

There was one vampire, out of all the guys Spike had paid to record the events of Halloween night, who was the most bored. He'd latched on to the trail of the black-haired guy because he was always hanging out with the Slayer. The guy had meandered through the town, only to wind up shutting himself up in some kind of blue box.

_Sure,_ the vampire thought._ That, uh, 'Police' box made a great entrance, but as soon as he opened the door I could see it was empty. I can't even hear any interesting noises coming from it and I'm running out of batteries. So either I leave or I open the door again and see what he's up to, despite the risk of getting staked._

Oh well, he thought as he moved to do so. The things I do for pay.

He gently slid open the door, surprised at the amount of light that poured out.

"Hey, pal," he said out loud, despite himself. "You glowing in there, or..." the words dried in his mouth as his eyes adjusted. Sure, there was lights in the floor and the ceiling, but what worried him the most was the dim pillar of light in the center of the room that pulsed as if it 'saw' him.

After a minute or so of standing in place, the vampire shook himself, risked a glance around the room to see if the Slayer's friend was visible - he wasn't - then leaned back out of the box and closed the door.

Whimpering faintly, the night air fresh on his face, the vampire gently slid to the ground and sat there, his back against the box.

"There's something in the light and it doesn't like me," he said, rocking in place, before whipping his head around and grinning viciously into the night. "Spike is going to _love _this."

##

Ethan Rayne hit the wall for a second time and a thin trickle of blood trailed down his lip. He reached up to wipe it off. He hadn't once lost his smile.

"Girl, all I see in you is skill and speed. No real power," he said reaching out with a hand to one of the boxes. "Let me assure you I've still got some tricks up my sleeve."

He put his weight into his arm in an attempt to stand up. Unfortunately, the flimsy cardboard box crumbled slightly under his weight.

Unfortunate, because he had been too distracted by the battle to remember exactly where he'd left the 'package'. That he was in danger from it simply hadn't crossed his mind.

As the enchanted box squished, it compressed the universe it contained inside of it. Which, thanks to the 31st century tech it was mimicking, was the universe around it.

As Ethan **Rayne** stood up **his **head touched **the** ceiling. He **felt** this was **rather** odd because** he'd **never felt **shorter** and fatter** in** his life.

**"**_Unfortunately, my dear,_**"** **he** squeaked. **"**_That wasn't one of them. I don't think that I want try a spot negation if it might mean negating reality itself, so congratulations, I'm going to have to break the connection wholesale. I may love chaos in general but this right here is infringing on my freedom._**"**

He **stumbled** into the **back** room and **tried** to lift **the** bust of **Janus** above his head, which resulted in a large dent in the** ceiling **and several chips falling from the statue's 'brains' **and** raining to the floor.

Snarling, he threw the **bust** to the floor where it shattered, ending the spell.

##

All across town, wherever the shock caused the magic to recede, the spell's effects reversed, leaving the formerly enchanted residents more or less as they were before, although rather more confused.

Shaking herself, Buffy ran forward after the mage, only to realize he'd taken her moment of adjustment to disappear out the back.

She considered chasing after him through Sunnydale, but the healer in her had her heading back to the car where Willow and Giles were.

She turned around in time to see the little shop bell go flying off as Giles slammed open the door with enough force to shatter it.

"Where is he!" he yelled. "Ethan, all you've done is remind me exactly why being Ripper was so **fun** and I can't wait to let him- Why hello, Buffy," the Watcher said as he adjusted his glasses. "Did you happen to see which way he went?"

"You. Me. Talk later," she said, walking forward to see Willow standing against the car, also suddenly recovered from the paralyzing glare. "Right now, Willow and I have got to patrol and escort the kids we're responsible for back home."

"Why, yes," Giles said, reigning his inner darkness back into place. "Have fun."

##

Spike accepted the tape from the madly-grinning vampire, who left with his pay and a few parting words.

Spike turned to Drusilla as he popped in the tape and said: "So, camera-boy says we're going to love this one. I somehow doubt it. We've seen too many tapes tonight already..."

After a bit, he pressed fast-forward.

"See, what did I tell you? All he does is bump into the Wizard of Oz group. We already saw this scene from the guy who was following Angel around. Now look, he's just wandering off on his own. Boring."

Spike ejected the tape and tossed it unceremoniously into a corner.

"You know, for a guy who hangs out with the Slayer I thought he would've picked a more interesting costume..."

* * *

***Ring - Ring***

"I've half a mind to kill whoever this is! I've just been up half the night trying to track the bastard across town only to come back to the shop to find it cleared out behind me! I've only had an hour's sleep, if that, and-"

"Giles, it's me, Cordelia."

"Cordelia? Well, I don't have any specific gripe against you. Are you okay? You do realize you're calling me at 3:00 in the bleedin' A.M. right?"

"Well, it's 6:00 A.M. in New York, which is where I'm calling from by the way."

"Oh. The spell took you that far, eh? Oh my God! Is the sun up yet?"

"No, but it's getting there. Why?"

"Are you still whatever you dressed as?"

"No, I took my wig off and stashed it inside my car before I called. Speaking of which, how am I going to get _that_ shipped back to Sunnydale?"

"Your car's with you?"

"Yeah. It's back to its four-wheeled shape but thanks to that special Halloween hood ornament that guy had me slip on to match my costume-"

"You are lucky, young lady. Very very lucky to have stopped in New York. I went through the notes Ethan had on his spell, well, scrawls, really, and he was planning on drawing power and fuel from the essence of night, but with sunlight the spell achieves permanence."

"Ethan did all of this? You mean, I'd have been stuck as a one-eyed courier for the rest of my life? The Chase fortune would have a heir with no memory? Yipe. I'd have to work and have no idea I was better than that."

"Ahem. No. You'd still have been transformed, yes, but your memories and personality would return to consume the shell that had been running your body. I assume he wanted to give people a night of worry-free chaos backed up by a lifetime of regret with everything they did under its influence permanently etched into their faces."

"If you could see me, you would know I was shuddering. Remind me to give him a swift kick in the balls next time I see him. So, you're fairly smart and, while I regret to say this, professionally trained in all this supernatural stuff. How am I going to get myself and my car back complete with a believable explanation?"

"I'll think of something."

"Great. It's that military guy who was trying to talk to me earlier. So, I was watching this live taping of a Japanese soap opera and you can't believe what Aeris was up to this time... Good, he's out of earshot. Guess he didn't recognize me without the hair and the boots. Where were we?"

* * *

**Chicago, IL**

"Well, that should do it." It had taken the black-haired men a few hours to catch up on sleep, put Jack's life in order and remold his 'Time And Relative Dimension In Space' detector into something that would pass through airport security.

"Let's get going," Gary Hobson said as Jack put his hand on the doorknob. "You'll definitely be on time for your flight, but I'll be cutting it rather close-"

As Jack turned the doorknob there was the sound of a cat's _'Mwowr' _and the thump of something hitting the hallway floor.

Jack threw open the door to reveal, as usual, the absence of anyone who could have dropped the paper.

Surprised, Gary glanced over his shoulder at the clock which read '6:00 AM.' The paper had arrived half an hour early. "Huh." He shrugged. "I guess it didn't want to miss you?"

Jack waved at the paper and Gary walked across the room to retrieve it, brushing away the orange cat that had sat down and started to groom itself in the exact center of the paper.

Jack walked up close behind the slightly taller man and began to read over his shoulder as Gary paged through the edition of the Chicago Sun-Times that had November 2nd, 1997, the next day's date, written across the top.

Gary shook his head as he turned to meet the other man's eyes and Jack let out a sigh of relief. "Looks like it will be a slow news day. Nothing stopping you from leaving on time."

"Good," Jack said, cheerfully stretching his arms behind his head. "A man can only take so many plane crashes in his lifetime... Well, let's be off."

* * *

**Sunnydale, CA**

"Well," the Adventurer monologued. "My interest in exploring the ship is sated, for now, and I've had enough of repairs for the moment. Yep, it will be at least a few more hours work before she's flightworthy. Good a time as any to check out the local watering hole and see what kind of trouble I can get into, not that I'll ever admit to myself that's what I'm doing."

Cheerfully whistling, the alien patted the TARDIS' central column with a muttered 'Good Ship', and went to open the doors.

The timeless nature of the TARDIS had protected the the Adventurer's spell fragment from the outside forces trying to break it in the absence of the much larger chaos working, so when he opened the doors and the first rays of the rising sun hit him, Xander's mind merged fully with the rest of his body.

"Oh. Hell," Xander said as he sank to the floor, his two new, very Gallifreyan, hearts beating wildly in his chest. "Wait a second."

Fumbling, he pulled out his wallet and flipped it open to the mocked-up I.D. he'd made after beating a series of adventure games.

"I have been playing way too much Quest for Glory," he said, shaking his head as he pulled himself to his feet. "Okay, to recap, unless the Cowardly Lion is a native to this dimension, I have no reason to believe that the... alien species I've become is out there somewhere waiting for me to sign up... Other than that I'm in one of their machines."

"Hello," he said, pulling out the sonic screwdriver and flipping it on. "Yep, still works. Right, I can balance my life between being a time-jumping alien and a full-fledged Slayerette. It does help that it's Saturday and - looking at it from a fresh perspective - my parents really do suck.

"So, I've got a full set of skills, enough to fix this machine. No particular grudge against whoever did this to me, though I rather think it was that Ethan guy. Note to self: If you think it's a bad idea to trust someone who resembles a British High Elf without the pointed ears - don't. No clear-cut alien memories other than his perspective on what happened last night. Check."

"Well, I'm going to go home, get a fresh set of _my _clothes, check to see all my friends survived the night, do all the repairs I can and, then, take this baby for a spin."

* * *

**In Between Places**

Flight A left Chicago. Flight B left New York.

Flight A was delayed. Flights arrived in Los Angeles.

Planes from LAX to Sunnydale Airport leave rarely, but they're still faster and more comfortable than the bus.

Therefore,

"Hey," said Captain Jack as he stopped next to Cordelia. "Looks like we're sitting together. My name's Jack."

"Cordelia Chase," she said, smiling at the man in the dark wool greatcoat.

"Nice to meet you," he said, sliding past her to take the window seat. "Know much about the town we're flying into?"

"Other than that there's a gang that thinks it's funny to butcher people who invite them in after dark? Yeah, I live there."

"Oh, good. Round trip?"

"Yeah, but I had a much nicer flight on the way out."

He smiled slightly at her and turned to look out the window as the plane took off.

She turned to face down the aisle and inconspicuously fanned the base of her neck.

"Hotness," she mouthed silently to herself.

* * *

***Ring - Ring***

"Yes, hello?"

"Jenny, this is, uh, Rupert. I was wondering if, seeing as it was Saturday..."

"I don't have any plans myself. When would you like to meet up?"

"I'd say lunch this afternoon, maybe a matinee afterwards?"

"Sounds wonderful."

* * *

Once in Sunnydale, after parting ways with Cordelia, Jack rented a car under the identity he'd forged with his Torchwood-learned skills. He loaded the vehicle up with his luggage and belted one very important piece into the passenger seat.

Using the fresh readings from the rigged device, he navigated through the town to one specific cemetery and parked within sight of the TARDIS. Racing to the machine, he thanked his lucky stars that it was still there and showed no signs of taking off any time soon. Death by clinging to the outside of that particular TARDIS was something he wanted to do only once.

Pulling open the door, he was greeted by the sight of a young black-haired man in a garish Hawaiian shirt dancing as he whipped from panel to panel in a flurry of activity.

The young-seeming man was singing an Earth, Wind and Fire song to himself as he moved across the room, hitting every 'ba de ya' note with a completely non-human level of precision.

##

Jack coughed.

The man looked up and smiled warmly as if he hadn't just been caught doing something strange. "Hey," he said. "This wouldn't happen to be yours would it?"

"Nope," Jack said. "But I'm growing my own. I've got it belted into the front seat of my car. The name's Captain Jack Harkness. I mean anything to you?"

"Nah, sorry," he answered with a shrug. "My name's Xander. There was this big personality explosion in town last night and I got hit by a stray shot. Woke up here with one more heart than I went to bed with the night before."

"Okay, so you're not a Time Lord in human-form with Chameleon Arch induced amnesia, are you?"

"Not unless my best friend since kindergarten has had her memories tampered with too."

"Worth a shot," Jack sighed, deciding to try a different tack. "I jumped in from another reality, riding the baby budded TARDIS I'd rigged up like a surfboard in hopes of finding its 'daddy'. Looks like I did, but I was mostly hoping to find its pilot, the _Doctor_."

"Oh, so real 'Time Lords' have that one name thing going for them, do they? I thought it was just my abject weirdness."

"Hmph. So, why was there a 'personality-explosion' on Halloween night?"

"Oh, some guy decided to create costumes that took away memories and added skillsets in hopes of causing chaos. I picked up a sonic screwdriver and a locket, which the guy claimed came from a yard sale, borrowed those clothes over there off my friends and became a target for the universe to throw darts at. So, tell me about the guy you knew, was he... Hey, are you okay?"

The blood drained from Jack's face as he stared over at the scarf and the coat hanging from a hook on the wall.

The normally unflappable Captain had become, well, flapped.

"So," asked the immortal Jack. "You're saying you picked up those clothes from some specific people you know. Where can I find them?"

"Why on Earth should I tell you?"

"I'll give you one good guess."

##

Giles and Jenny sat next to each other in the darkened theater. They were in luck as the Sun Cinema was having a special _All Saints' Day_ movie marathon. As the second movie rolled around Jenny nudged Giles and said that she was getting up to get some more popcorn. He smiled, patted her hand again, and she stood up to leave.

After a bit, Giles felt someone slip into the seat next to him and a warm hand gently slip into his.

The warmth was a good thing, because Giles could unquestionably tell that it did not belong to a vampire.

"It's a good thing that I'm not my girlfriend," Giles said without turning his head. "Or you'd be on the ground right now writhing in pain. As it is I'd suggest that you classify this as an honest mistake and back the hell off."

"Sorry to interrupt you on your date," Jack said. "If I still had my Doctor-Detector I'd have been able to track you down a lot sooner. As it is, I had to visit the major date spots in this town manually. Now, the Doctor I presume," Jack said, releasing Giles' hand as he stood up and turned to face the aisle. "Miss me?"

Jenny Calendar stood there for a second, frozen in shock, as the bags of popcorn fell from her hands to scatter along the theater floor.

* * *

_Prompted by mikerich's 'Xander Who' Challenge: - After the spell ends Xander finds out that he has been genetically altered to be a Gallifreyan. He starts to fix the TARDIS -_


	5. Time Shift

BtVS by Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Doctor Who optioned by the BBC. Stargate by Gekko Productions and others. One set of spells borrowed from Piers Anthony's Xanth. My thanks go to jrabbit, one of the _Twisting the Hellmouth_ admins, who, when I posted some of my weak original backstory in a forum, gave advice on what bits _really_ had to go.

I've decided think of Joanna as a D&D Modern-style 'Acolyte' and plan for Buffy around that. Massive exposition ahead, am trying to spotlight some characters, because they'll be in the background soon enough.

* * *

**Early Evening, November 1, 1997**

Jenny Calendar's mind raced. On the one hand, she'd thought her old reality unreachable, her friends lost to her forever, so she was happy. This did mean her enemies might follow on Jack's heels, but he'd probably arrived in a way only he could survive, so the probability was low. On the other hand, the expression on Giles' face wasn't getting any warmer, so Jack must have already made a sizable impression...

Jenny grabbed Jack's arm and pulled him into the aisle. "Not helping," she hissed. "Rupert, this is Captain Jack Harkness. Friend from my old adventuring days, nothing beyond a large crush, but as you can see, he's rather affectionate."

"I'd say." Giles coughed. "You should've warned me that this could happen, though to be perfectly frank, the stuff from my own past would probably be trying to kill you."

"Not much chance of me pulling that off-" Jack managed to say before Jenny elbowed him hard in the ribs.

As Giles rose to his feet, Jenny reached down and grabbed the edges of the popcorn bags. They were still half-full, so she handed one to Giles. "Here," she said. "Secrets are probably best told with snacks."

##

When the sun had descended far enough in the sky that the entrance to Spike's warehouse was enveloped in shadow, a vampire burst in through the doorway, slightly smoking despite his blanket.

"Bloody Hell," Spike said, waving at the fumes. "It's nearly nighttime. What's so important it couldn't have waited a bit?"

The steaming vampire pulled back the blanket revealing black hair and a crow perched on his shoulder. "Been trying to reach you for awhile. I just wanted to tell you what Poe said when I sent him spying-"

"Wait." Spike stared down the vampire, who had been one of his cameramen the night before. "You're Edgar, and he's Poe?"

"Yeah, what of it? Anyway, he's part Svelt'K demon so he's sort of my eyes and ears in the sun. He staked out the graveyard until the Slayer's friend left it. There's two of them now."

Spike chuckled. "Seriously? Not that I don't believe you, but who in their right mind would dress up as that bloke?"

"What? No." Edgar waved his hands. "I think it has something to do with the light inside the blue box... You know, the one on the tape?"

After finding out that they hadn't watched the tape to the end, Edgar ranted until Spike punched him. A short tussle later, Dru clapping her way through it, things calmed down enough that they could pop the tape back in the VCR.

##

Once on the sidewalk by the cars, Jenny turned to ask: "Jack, what's our timeframe, you here on a social call? How did you find us?"

"Social slash catching up with my fellow exile. Xander Harris, who is apparently one of your students when he's not a Time-Lord-In-Training, is repairing what's apparently your TARDIS, so our rush depends on your reaction to that." Jack leaned in and gave her a quick hug. "Honestly, seeing one of the jackets _Rose _left behind hanging in a TARDIS when she's been gone for this long and then finding you've been out and about wearing it? What that _meant_ was a bit of a shock, but it's good to see you happy."

"Yes, I am." Jenny smiled warmly. Regenerating as a Time Lady had been _new_, something she personally pinned on the dimensional rift, but her life was working out well. "Redhorn Graveyard?" At Jack's nod, she turned to Giles. "I love you and I thought I would have more time to let you in on some things, but it seems we're going to have to rush it. Immediate plan: we take my car, Jack riding shotgun, so I can hit him if I need to."

Jack grinned, knowing she'd probably need to.

Giles shook his head and climbed in the back. "Something tells me we should've paid more attention to what Xander was wearing for his costume besides my scarf and your jacket. Your history with this Rose girl affect who he wound up as?"

"I certainly hope not," Jenny said as she started up the car. "The Bad Wolf would tear through this place."

Jack shook his head and mouthed 'two hearts.'

"No." Jenny sighed, glancing in the rear view mirror. "She was human. To be honest, my crush on her was _much_ larger than my one on Jack, but that didn't get very far either. I'm actually a dimensional traveler, known as a 'Time Lord', with a friend who takes the form of a blue Police Box and Xander, who seems to have patterned himself after me when I was running around as the 'Doctor', is trying to fix her."

"About that," Jack grumbled. "Why would you _bury_ the TARDIS? She's alive. I mean _you_-"

"I didn't bury her, just her _shell_. They have a paradise dimension here dedicated to Champions and I set the important bits of what makes her who and what she is to share its coordinates. She's _happy_ and we do meet every now and again to catch up. I have hopes that, when I die, I'll wind up there with her..."

As the last of the sun faded from the sky, they drove for a bit in contemplative silence, which was finally broken by Giles' fuming. "These relationships that just never seemed to develop physically with people you've left behind and never mentioned? You having such warm feelings for an_ intelligent object_? I have to ask... What exactly am I to you?"

Jack laughed, sharply. "Oh, that's what ruffles your feathers? Here I thought it'd be that we're not from your Earth."

"That will take more than a few minutes to process," Giles said dryly.

"Ah." Jack shrugged. "No, I can assure you the Doctor's not shallow. She might have given up everything for Rose, at one point in time, but they were separated forcibly. When they finally met again, the Doctor's _male_ clone-" He was interrupted by Jenny slamming his head hard against his window.

"Was there to pick up the pieces," Jenny finished, glaring at Jack, before turning her attention back to the road. "Speaking of which, why aren't you _there_ with Xander stopping him from leaving?"

Jack coughed. "I sort of assumed that someone working off of borrowed memories couldn't be better at TARDIS-repair than the great 'Jenny Calendar.'"

"Oh, the TARDIS isn't grounded. Just me. The higher-level entities here are hands-on and don't seem to want any more outsiders than they already have to deal with. Time Lords have a certain innate sense of the rightness of time, anomalies scream at us with their horrible wrongness – No offense, Jack."

"None taken."

"I couldn't trust any human, no matter how skilled, with full control over her. Since I heard that the _accommodation_ spells of this reality made it possible, I've always had this vague hope of settling down and having children here, leaving the TARDIS and time in their hands." She sighed wistfully as they pulled up to the graveyard and parked. "So a native like Xander has a decent chance of pulling this off."

"I'd say," Jack said, hearing the classic _whir-whoosh_ sound of a TARDIS powering its engines and getting ready to leave. As he tore himself from the car, Jenny hot on his heels, the thought of children triggered a memory. "Also, Jenny's alive."

Jenny stumbled a half step. "Brilliant," she said, falling back on an old speech pattern. "My daughter-clone," she clarified for Giles, who had fallen into step behind her.

"Ah." Giles raised his eyebrows as he panted, wondering at the shared name. "I see. Why are we running?"

##

"Bollocks," Spike said as he and his vampiric posse ran across the grass to the blue box. "Sun sure took its sweet time in setting. "Not about to let a magical artifact slip through my grasp and into the Slayer's, especially one that could make two of them." Bounding the final distance, he artfully slid into a halt. "We're here. So, how do we get in?"

##

Jenny, Giles and Jack reached the TARDIS as it faded into transparency. When it finally disappeared, they were surprised to find the equally stunned vampires facing them across the upturned dirt.

Both sides stared in silence. Caught off guard, they were just waiting for something to happen...

* * *

**Early Morning, November 1, 1997**

Inside the TARDIS, Xander finished pulling the levers that put it in sync with the normal flow of time. To minimize complications on his first trip, he'd materialized her a short distance in the past and some distance away in the shadow of a crypt to prevent physical overlap.

Whistling as he walked, he made his way to the garage of his parents' house. His father's car was out of service and waiting to be repaired, but he'd spent several hours in the TARDIS' library with various diagrams explaining what was _supposed_ to be inside of a sonic screwdriver and he was pretty sure he'd found the right settings.

Sure enough, after buzzing the right places, when he started up the car, it purred like a kitten. "Sweet," he said, turning the engine off. "You know, I should actually borrow the keys..."

Xander walked inside the house, cheerfully waving to his parents as they slumped their way through their breakfast routine, having been to a wild party the night before. "I'm moving to a friend's house across town, so I fixed the car. Can I borrow it, please? It'd make me getting myself and my stuff out of your hair easier."

Anthony Harris sighed, wondering when his son had become one of those dreaded _morning_ people, and slid his key across the table. "No furniture. No coathangers."

Jessica Harris mumbled 'good luck' as her son walked out the door with the first armload of his stuff.

##

Buffy stood in her room, looking at herself in the mirror. She closed her eyes and, reaching for her silver cross, held it out as far as she could with the chain around her neck. After a minute, the room was lit with a pure silvery radiance and a fresh cleansing breeze seemed to blow from nowhere.

She opened her eyes and, smiling, lowered the cross to her chest as the light dimmed and went out.

"The chakram? I don't think I can make those or that I, even with the Slayer's instincts, have the _math_ to use them properly. This, though? This I can get used to."

She laughed softly. "I wonder if I was always a latent witch and the spell helped awaken me... Or if the song once heard just can't be _unheard_..."

##

After finishing things with his folks, dropping most of his things off in his time-displaced TARDIS and reparking the car, Xander walked down to Revello Drive. He was carrying a garishly red and white Hawaiian shirt and some of the other pieces of clothing that he was also wearing at that particular moment.

"Hey, Adventurer!" Xander called to Past-Xander who, down the street, was about to knock on Buffy Summers' front door. The younger Xander was still wearing his costume from the night before, which was looking pretty ragged. Past-Xander wasn't looking much better either. "You should put these on and get some rest before you talk to anyone."

A crow flew low by overhead, did a double-take, and crashed into a tree.

##

Past-Xander sighed and accepted the arm-load of clothes. "Being called that sounds silly now. I don't think I'll keep it."

Xander shrugged. "Maybe the short names sound better to actual Time Lords because they're not in their native language?"

"What?"

Xander patted his past self on the shoulder, firmly. "Seriously," he said, looking himself square in the eyes. "Use one of those awesome showers in the TARDIS and get some rest before you start the repairs. You're going to need it."

Xander waited until his past self had turned the corner before knocking on Buffy's door and slumping into it like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

After his own nap, he'd spent time reading in the library only to find sketchy reports of evil time arachnids that jumped out and ate manifest paradoxes such as two time-displaced versions of the same person _physically touching_. The fact that his then-future-self had done it already with no bad consequence added to Jack's assurance that Xander's Sunnydale wasn't part of that reality meant that everything should work out okay _this time_ as well, but it was still nerve-wracking.

The remnants of the Halloween spell hadn't given Xander a new personality as much as giving him more depth, along with a _lot_ more space to think things through in and therefore to be distracted by. It had also made him a _much_ better actor.

##

Buffy opened the door with a smile on her face. "Xander. What's the what?"

"My super sci-fi spy turned out to be a real dimensional traveler. The gear still works and I've tested it out. Seems safe enough, so I'm going exploring."

Buffy sighed and leaned against the doorframe. "Figures. Need company?"

"Nah," he said. "I want to try this solo for awhile. Moved out of the Harris residence already, got wide worlds ahead of me. How'd your costume fare?"

"Majorly awesome. The cross Angel gave me changed the basic structure of Xena's costume from 'princess' to 'priestess', so Joanna, Warrior Priestess stalked the night."

He shrugged. "I know her history, but I never really got princess from her everyday wear either... At least Wonder Woman had a tiara. So _the_ Big Guy in the Sky, eh? Any new messages from our Creator?"

"Well, yeah. About that." Her eyes grew slightly misty. "Her memories... What I can feel now? There is definitely something there. It powers holy water. It keeps crosses working. It's this huge warm loving force. Going from her memories, there's definitely a Heaven, at least one. Never spoke to her, though. Not once. Sometimes she had this huge crisis of faith over whether it wasn't aware of _us_ or if it was but not aware of _itself_."

"Ouch. Does suck having that dumped on you all at once."

Buffy gave a half-hearted smile and spread her arms. "Ethan was right, the spell was pretty much producing memories on demand. I've the outline of a lot of new skills, but I'm missing the intermediary steps, the foundation. They're goals to shoot for. She was able to sense and reweave magic through concentration and tools and I might be able to do that with enough practice, trial and error, but casting new stuff's rather beyond me. No Buffy the _Super-Witch_... yet."

"Nice." Xander nodded appreciatively. "Seems like you'll be getting on pretty well without me for awhile, eh?"

"Yeah." Buffy reached up to feel her necklace. "My cross is a symbol of both my faith in myself and that there is _definitely_ something there out there that _cares... _Well, that cares about us as a whole even if I don't know if it's _able_ to care about any one of us specifically..." She sighed, shook her head, then continued with resolve. "I can _channel_ through it, now. The special effects work nicely. In theory I should be able to turn the natural vamp-fear up to eleven and maybe, just maybe, heal people."

Listening to what she was saying, she paused a bit and backed up. "Wait. Yeah, this is a nice boost. Would be awesome if Willow can crack safes by sticking her head through them, or something, but we're, y'know. Just not _you._ There's going to be a Xander-shaped hole in our lives with you gone, so don't make for a long stay away, alright?"

"Not planning on it." Xander smiled. "So, what did happen last night?"

"We've been standing for way too long. Want to come in and talk about it?"

"Sweet."

##

They sat down on the couches and talked for a good, long while.

Joyce, who was half-listening to the conversation from the kitchen, shook her head and sighed. She didn't think she was ever going to be able to understand teenagers.

* * *

**Mid-Afternoon, November 1, 1997**

Xander returned to the TARDIS and closed the doors behind him. "That was awesome." He chuckled. "Shame Willow _doesn't _have Shadowcat's phasing powers, but it was sure fun to see her try."

He moved around the room, flicking switches and pulling levers. "I know my original plan was to watch Past-Xander leave in his TARDIS so I can get a coherent of what exactly all of this looks and feels like from the outside. By my calculations, there's a few hours to go. I could wait around for that, but waiting's _boring._"

He pressed a final button and turned a dial, keeping his hand steady on it. With careful motions he started up the engines to the TARDIS, slowed them down, and brought them to a complete stop.

"Awesome-sauce! This should be just before I left the first time!"

* * *

**Late at Night, October 28, 1997**

Buffy's ears perked up. "Giles, do you hear that?"

"Yes. I've no idea what that is, but it's definitely something," Giles cupped his ear to better hear the faint _whir-woosh _sound. "Seems to be coming from inside this-"

Buffy made it to the top of the tall hedges in a single leap and rolled herself carefully over them.

Giles paused and held his forehead. "Cemetery, which is off our normal patrol route for this particular night, because of the huge hedges on this side. Nothing for it. I'll have to find my own way in."

##

Ethan Rayne saw the young woman running far ahead of him and, swearing faintly, dove for cover behind a headstone. He definitely did not have permission to be in that particular cemetery at night and wasn't about to risk running into anyone that _did._

##

Xander opened the TARDIS door and, rather than moving through it, closed it almost immediately. "Nope, from what the back of my mind is telling me." He pressed his back against the doors and instinctively locked them. "That's what Buffy was wearing four days ago. I don't think she saw me." The doors began rattling as if someone strong was trying to pull them open. "Nope, I _still_ don't think she saw me. Ooh! I could stick around, buy a second costume, and wait for the spell to activate again – No! _Bad Xander_! No tempting fate. Even if it meant being able to create sugary goodness with a snap of your fingers or a wave of your triangle wand it's not worth the risk... Probably..."

* * *

_Prompted by mikerich's 'Xander Who' Challenge: - when the real Doctor and friends show up. -_


End file.
